summary of my talk with a dear friend

i had a conversation with a dear friend from years ago who has moved to TX. This couple embodies what i have always imagined my tarbiya scenario would be with my own kids. Her kids are 8,5, and 4mos. MashaAllah, may Allah always protect them from the 'ain and hasd....


here is a summary of the key points that i need to remind myself of...
they put their dd1 in public kg (even though i detected a little hesitation on her part..but i think it was a dh's decision) for the sake of getting the socialization (and i'm not talking about the typical american one that comes to mind), the competitions that come with the public schools (spelling bees, debate type, science fair, etc.), and overall make the kids know how to deal with public...if that makes any sense... anyhow, at the time, she said it felt like a total waste of time 'cuz dd was not learning anything and they basically comforted the child by saying that school is not necessarily for learning new things but to practice all that we've learned.


now she is in 3rd grade and got placed in 'gate' program after being tested in KG. that has helped a lot. she said each year dd got a teacher who was open to helping dd with different things. in KG, dd was told by parents to try to finish her work fast so that she ask for more work or to ask if she can help the teacher. in 1st grade, the teacher gave more challenging language arts stuff; the 2nd grade teacher gave more math stuff. (this yr i dont' know)...


here r some points:

1. dd finished quran in 1st grade: mom read arabic books at home since the age of 3 but when dd turned 4, they had a quran teacher come to the house twice weekly until she finished reading the quran.
2. after that, concentrated on arabic. another teacher ('cuz the other teacher moved away) comes to the house for arabic for 2 hrs on weekends. so now dd is able to read arabic (mom is following the local islamic school's arabic/islamic curriculum) at the 3rd grade level. so in arabic, grammar, etc. is taught.
3. dd is also doing hifz with the local masjid's sheikh twice a week (wednesdays and sundays). hifz is going a bit slow now 'cuz of school, but it's there.
4. taekwondo once (or twice?) a week
5. Kumon every day
6. dd is able to read urdu right now.
7. during pregnancy of her 3rd, she slacked off on going to masjid, but now she's picking it up again slowly to take the kids for magrib everyday. the imam at the masjid said in a khutba, that it's important for the kids going to public school to go to the masjid once daily. the hearing of the azan, the quranic recitation is very important for them. mom felt that was true 'cuz she felt the difference in her kids when she was not doing it.
8. she does scheduling with her dd the night before for the next day. so that depending on what is happening the next day, the dd knows what to do in order to be able to have free time before sleeping! mostly, the dd knows how much time she has to finish her work in order to have free time before sleep time.
9. during the free time (if she has finished her HW & Kumon), then she usually plays in the backyard, arts/crafts, or they go for a walk (but it can't be at nite, huh?)...she said she tries to get them to be out everyday either for a walk, biking, or scootering, etc.
10. upto like last year, mom would go and have lunch with dd at school! she said it made a difference..(how? i don't know but i can speculate and our conversation ended 'cuz my leeboo was bothering me to the max!! arrrggh)
11. here is their typical monday's schedule:

School- come home- shower/change of clothes (everyday 'cuz she had a baby at home and with the swine flu things going on) - snack (which she had ready b4 dd came home)- listen to quran on computer & memorize - kumon- taekwondo- masjid for magrib- dinner- any HW- then free time- sleep at 8pm!!!!


Sooo much food for my thoughts..

being detached..

yesterday, i was changing mr. Lion's shirt at nite time and after i took out his arms, his head was next. the way i did it, it sort of got stuck (not in a tough way but a slight tug)..just that day when i was changing Leeboo's shirt, i heedlessly (carelessly) did the same thing but she being the ultra sensitive type to any tinge of pain (even the smallest little pinch), started to cry 'cuz i didn't do it carefully and the shirt's neck must've hurt her nose or something. .

so when i was changing Mr. L's shirt, i had a flashback of the morning events..and i dont' know how but i suddenly saw myself detached from my kids for a second and actually saw them as Allah's bunday..slaves...like i am only an instrument of my Lord. I felt this compassion for my kids that i've never felt before. I realized i don't OWN them..you know how you feel these are YOUR kids and you almost take them for granted... my kids personalities, their education, their tarbiyya, their future, their destinies, and securities.. ALL of it is out of our hands as parents. My job is to sincerely do what I am supposed to do so that I am clear with My Lord...my accountability is with HIM. My manner of talk to them, my respect of them as insaan, as human beings worthy of respect..true respect.... in how i deal with them every moment, even in my anger, frustrations, disappointments, hurts, exhaustions...in keeping in mind that if He calls me back right now, what can i say about myself...can i be true to Him? can i be true to myself with regards to this accountability issue?

this, i realized requires a concrete definition of success in my mind. I realllllly have to ponder and mull over this word for myself and my family. Am i an instrument of that success (whatever that definition is for me)? How is my definition same/different or in alignment with His definition as His people of this duniya? and if my defn is different, why is it so? and how can i align it with His defn? 'cuz it's quite possible i will never see the fruits of my labor in my lifetime...

oh, how weak and incapable i truly feel. it's only My Lord and His rahma and His baraka and special favors on me and my family that can keep us and protect us...

transformative parenting articles, books

http://transformativeparenting.com/resources.shtml#articles
raising our children, raising ourselves by naomi aldort-- good?
Dr. Gordon Neufeld (author of Hold On To Your Kids)--

Unconditional Parenting. "I remember disagreeing with just how far he went in some cases--or maybe that was from the session I attended with Alfie Kohn on the book. Can't remember" In any case, always remember this: Just because somebody writes it and absolutely believes in it doesn't mean that the person *is* right nor does it mean that it's the right thing for you to jump into.....Daisy...another comment: I am in agreement with Unconditional Parenting and it is one part of asuccessful parenting style, but not the end-all. I think you have to be inthe "right space" parenting-wise to really benefit from it though. I thinkif you are looking for specific tools, this book can be very frustrating.Yet, I think you can keep it's message in mind at all times while you workthrough your own parenting style. I find almost all discipline/parentin gproblems have their root in myself or my husband, not our children. So, ifwe are having a parenting issue, we get 99% positive effects if wecritically evaluate ourselves. This book helped me see that and focus moreon me and the message I was presenting to my children rather than focusingon a behavior that I didn't want. Another book that I really really likedwas Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves. It may help at the next levelafter reading Unconditional Parenting.Hope this is helpful at some level.Take care,Amy

"How toTalk to your kids so they can Listen and how to listen so they canTalk" By AdeleFaber and Elaine Mazlish. and "Kids are worth it" by Barbara Coloroso

back to the drawing board...sort of..

so i've been talking to a few friends about the springbrook's montessori program..hmmm..soooo many things to ponder & mull over & do istikhara on..that's the one thing i realize i'm missing so much (reminding myself AGAIN). i have to do everything with Allah in my heart & tongue. I'm doing it to better myself & provide an environment for my kids' tarbiya... tarbiya..hmm.. what a heavy word. Does Allah really have faith in me regarding my kids?....I am just a vehicle. He is the One Who is raising them, despite myself....

i'll write later..

Misc. manipulatives inventory

Other Manipulative i have:
1. Dinosaurs puzzellations- gift from khala laila k.
2. Lace & match cards (lakeshore) similar but not these
3. Other lacing cards
4. The learning journey's (i) match it! sequencing (ii) Alphabet road puzzle (iii) Match it! math
5. Animal babies puzzle
6. Smart kids body iq missing skeleton
7. my big block body atlas- missing some things
8. Phonics Learning System with cards- leapfrog- the cards don't work too well..
9. tasselation
10. Lauri toys...Fit-a-space sorting activity,  Shape-n-Color sorter (1 peg & 1 shape missing) (note to self: use the sorting activity in amazon's pic to make some stuff for Mr. Lion); how about this one already done and just need to print??

here r some websites i came across while i was writing inventory down:
http://cela.albany.edu/literacycorner/default.htm
http://puzzlemaker.discoveryeducation.com/LetterTilesSetupForm.html
http://www.pre-kpages.com/farm.html

Math materials Inventory

 The following are the math stuff i have:
1. Cuisnaire rods book & some small algebra tiles i had gotten from a used sale
2. Numbers tracing and stamps (gift from little khala)
3. Math Bingo (picked up from Target dollar section)
4. 100 poker chips (from Target)
5. Clock related stuff: (a) Tick Tock Let's read the clock (book) (b) Barron's Big hand, little hand (book) (c) Tell the time- jig saw puzzles
6. Small tub of animal counters -here r some ideas for other activities..
7. Set of Dice (2 of them)
8. Weight scales from pakistan
9. Protractor/ ruler and 2 compases
10. Abeka Book's (a) Arithmatic 3-4 Concept cards & (b) Arithmatic Drill Set A-1
11. Think-it-thru Book 2 & 3
12. Wood brain tickler with tee pegs (tiny little thing..i don't know if it'll be used)
----
Books:
1. Addition wipe off fun
2. Grades 1-2 Kaplan Score Learning adventures in Math
3. Instant math centers (a) Primary problem solving- restaurants & (b) Grades 2-3 Measurement-weight
----------------
FLASHCARDS:
1. US flashcards
2. Animals of world (2x)
3. US animals (2x)
4. Fisher price sets: (i) Colors & Shapes (ii) numbers (iii)alphabets (iv) first words
5. Brain Quest- My First (2-3 yo); For Threes (3-4yo) & Preschool (4-5yo)
6. What's next
7. Opposites
8. Arabic letters
9. Box of manners (islamic manners in a box?)
10. Artist's Flashcards (i need to get the details on this one)

Language materials inventory

These are the items i have for the language box where i collect various stuff:
Books:
1. Month-by-month Reading & writing for KG
2. Alternatives to worksheets (K-4)
3. Reading todevelop your child's gifts & talents- Book 2 (Ages 4-6)
4. Hooked on Phonics- Learn to Read- Books 2 & 3 workbooks
5. Grade 2- Reading workbook
6. Grade 2- Harcourt/ Brace Phonics practice book
7. First grade REading skills
8. First grade Daily writing activities
9. The mouse family fun with words
10. From Acorn to Zoo & all in between- Satoshi Kitamura
11. My very first see and know learning to read workbook- preschool (old)
12. Grades 1-6 Creativity for kids through vocabulary development
13. My Week
14. If you are trying to teach kids how to write, you've got to have this book! Marjorie Frank
15. 52 fun ways to have fun with my mind
16. D'Nealia writing book1 (good..)
17. Bob Books (1-12) and Long Vowels & Compound words
18. Alpha Tales
-------
Other items for Language:
1. Lace-a-word Beads from Lakeshore.. hmmm LS also has these string-a-word activities cards... i think i need to make some to go with my beads
2. Learning Playground Tubbed Manipulatives, Letter Tiles ..LS has these that activities cards i can use for inspiration if i need
3. Just got from gsing 2weeks ago: Magnetic Poetry with the board! of course i don't know exactly what level it is yet..
4. Flash cards from The Child's World, Inc. These r dated 1990 and i didn't see any reference to them on their website right now..
5. Flashcards for first words & alphabets (Fisher Price)

Wow looking at all this i have a treasure and now to using it with the girls...

sayings and phrases..

there is a book i found online (sample book...) that you can go thru for your kid to define different sayings in the english language:

link for the page thru option or the download option (as of 10/25/09) is this.

i always wonder how long it will take for this to expire...

creeping/ crawling distances..

here is a C&C goals for 3-4yo healthy kids.. usually they say to do these for 90 days..

"We don't know the answer to when the benefits start. Some children need a little bit, some need a lot. MyDS has crept many hundred of miles &we still don't have convergence. Some children only creep 3 or 4 months and have great convergence (those are the ones who can hit a curve ball going 90 miles an hour). We have both kinds in my family. How much your child needs is undetermined. The 90 days thing is just for insurance. That's when they are doing GREAT. (You pay your car insurance even if you haven't had a wreck yet.)"

So, with that in mind here, i have printed out the suggested goals & my target at this time is start the process and encourage the kids to do it.. i'll have to be creative in where else i'm we can do this to keep them motivated.. i don't know how to do tables on the blog yet..so i'll just copy the info i have in a paragraph form:

Crawling:
· Distance to be covered initially is 50 meters, type of surface: smooth, flat surface like masonite, linoleum (or my favorite plastic over carpet strips).
· Type of footwear: bare feet or sneakers with rubber toes,
· Type of clothing: T-shirt and shorts (knee pads and elbow, if needed),
· Track: a measured distance in and out of the house but as long as possible,
· Awards: post daily goals and the award for accomplishing them,
· Lapcounter, have a checklist to count laps.

Goals, in 3 weeks: 350 meters daily with 50 meters nonstop,
in 6 months 400 meters daily: 100 meters nonstop

Bi-Weekly schedule for goals. Each day you should increase the distance your child crawls until he has built up to the next goal in two weeks time.

Week 1 - 5 meters each session, 10x/day = 50 meters total
Week 2 - 15 meters, 10x/day = 150 meters
Week 5 - 25 meters, 8xday
Week 7 - 35 meters, 8xday
Week 9 - 45 meters, 7xday
Week 11 - 50 meters, 7xday
Week 13 - 60 meters, 6 xday
Week 15 - 75 meters, 5 xday
Week 17 - 80 meters 5 xday
Week 20 - 90 meters 4x day + 1x40 meters
Week 22 - 100 meters 4 x day

Creeping
· Week 1, 30 meters, 10xday
· Week 3, 40 meters 10x day
· Week 5, 50 meters, 10x day
· Week 7, 100 meters, 6 x day
· Week 9, 150 meters, 6 xday
· Week 11, 200 meters, 5xday
· Week 13 250 meters, 5xday
· Week 15, 270 meters, 5xday
· Week 17, 300 meters, 5 xday
· Week 19 350 meters, 4 x day
· Week 20 400 meters, 4 x day

tentative schedule for the week

so i have been trying to see how i can set up the times to make it the most efficient use of our times together and not tax my kiddos.. after all, it is only KG and everywhere i read about success of the child, it says that the most important thing you can do for your child before 7 (or 6)yo is letting them PLAY and PLAY and PLAY, especially outside in a natural setting. The truth is that days go by without the kids spending anytime outside... sooooo... here goes...

7am: Wake-up & Morning routines (make a checklist for each kid to check off)
8-9am: Creeping/ Crawling/brachiation (make a distance target list to be finished by each kid)-
9-9:30am: Breakfast
9:30-10am: Get ready for school (make checklist for Aapi's backpack)
10-10:30am: Drop off and back home
10:30-1:30pm: -3 hours! 1hr for me to exercise if Mr. L will let me
-1 hr to be spent with L. & Mr. L-Words, pre-reading Mont., some practical
-Zuhr/ Lunch prep (ready B4 picking up)
1:30pm: Pickup
2-3pm: Lunch/Free play (the poor girl is sooo exhausted from the 3.5hrs out!)
3-3:30pm: Getting ready for HW/HS/Workboxes
4-6pm: HW, workboxes, Hsing....
6-7pm: Dinner
7-8pm: BBR (make checklist for kids)
8pm: Lights out

Again..this is the ideal case if everything goes smoothly... i've given myself enuf margin with the 3kids & any surprises... Also, I'm shooting for 3-4days of this setup per week. One day will be for visiting (they always ask for playdates)...

I would like to utilize the weekends to supplement with things i may not have been able to accomplish during the week. So that i have a basic list of things i would like to cover each week loosely based on the WorldBookStandards... and what items are left, i cover during those days..

Standards for Pre-K & KG:

Here are the links to the Pre-K (for Leeboo) and KG (for Aapi) based on the World book encyclopedia.

What other standars are there??

found acope and sequence for quran/arabic---adduha institute

Planner

Donnayoung.org has info on how to plan homeschooling year...for a newbie here r the steps:

I. List the subjects+ goals: already tried this back in july! (how time just flies right past)...for KG:
A. Subjects List:
(1) Arabic/ Quran (2) Urdu (3) Math (4) Reading/Comprehension (5)Writing (6)Nature Study (CM), (7)Science, (8) Culture (9) Art (10) Critical thinking skills
B. Goals: (Goals planner)
Here for the time being i'm going to go by the World Book Encyclopedia standards as listed here.. As i get more into this planning thing, i'll specify for Urdu, Quran/Arabic & Nature Study...

II. Choosing Books: (Curriculum Planner) (either grade level or purpose guided--this is what i'm thinking of)
A. Arabic- Arabic First website / Ad-duha Institute website
B. Quran-
C. Urdu- from Pakistan the first Urdu book
D. Math- Right Start-Level B
E. Reading-phonics- Montessori language/ Ordinary parent's guide to Reading/ Phonics pathways - also, various list of books to be read to/by the child (CM)
F. Writing- practice both manuscript and cursive (donnayoung.org) and copywork (AmblesideOnline-0yr)
G. Nature Study- AmblesideOnline -0yr (this will include some Art stuff)
H. Science- Supplement from various sources
I. Geography/Culture- Montessori

III. Course of Study (COS forms)
- Like the curriculum planner (CP)? List of subjects and books/materials for each subject. I think the difference is that with the CP, you are just hashing out ideas and how much it might cost... with the COS forms, you are more concrete in your plans...specific names/authors/ locations of the resources.

IV. Make a planner
i. Planner Guide (how-to)
ii. How to Make Plans(how-to)
iii. Lists (forms)
iv. Administrative (forms)
v. Lesson Plan Forms (forms)
vi. Extra (forms)
vii. Sets (forms)
-----------------------
Donna Young's Forms Menu
Lists
Book List Forms
Goals Forms
Book Key
Checklist I
Checklist II
Curriculum Shopping

Administrative
Calendars
Attendance
Time Forms
Course of Study
Grades Forms
Transcripts
Grades and Attendance

Lesson Plan Forms
Weekly Planners
Term and Subject Planners
By Columns
Journals
Unit Study Planner
Excel Weekly Planner

Extra
Cover Sheets
Notebook Forms
Grids
Outside Activities

Sets
Typeable PDF -->
Word Forms[DOC & RTF]
MS Excel Files[XLS] -->
Portfolio
Seasonal

So that's it. i need to get some sleep..it's already 1:45am!! I'll print all out as a guideline for my planner

Language Shelf- montessori

Here is a summary of the language in montessori education. I'm trying to summarize it for myself to breakdown the key items to work on:

Before introducing Sandpaper letters (1st real mont. lang. material), the First Shelf should be PRE-READING shelf to include:
1. go-together cards (10-20 pairs)
2. opposite matching cards
3. rhyming objects or cards
4. part-whole matching cards
5. patterning cards
6. sequencing cards

Second comes Sandpaper Letters (SL) in 3 color-coded groups presented in a 3-period lesson (1)this is R (2) show me R or put R on ur head (3) what is this or what sound is this?:
a. "Red" sounds are: r a m f b i t g: Sound book has 8 white pages for each sound
b. "Yellow" sounds are: p o n l h u s c
c. "Blue" sounds are: d e x q y z v w j k
(i) first you introduce sound with SL
(ii) then child traces in salt/cornmeal tray with fingers
(iii) then child glues the letter in her own "Sound books" for each child corresponding with the color of the letter.. each sound is reviewed every day...
(iv) simultaneously, "read" the little letter books (that have pics only for each sound) corresponding with sound of each letter...i have the sound pouches or object boxes...use these instead.
(v) another activity- picture sorting according to sound..SL on top & each picture/object matching sound underneath
(vi) after Red sounds mastered, move to yellow, to blue sounds. child may/not be ready to decode the words in the phonetic books..
(vii) list/dictation cards: can use these for spelling/writing/dictation for writing on paper or moveable letters

organization...again...

this organization thing is driving me crazy. with ramadan, it's been quite hard to get myself motivated to clean up the HS room and declutter... i literally don't get any time in the day to sit and just think for an hour straight. i get sidetracked every 2min by "moma, give me this..mama, i'm hungry. mama, do this..."... last week i was feeling sooooo exhausted mentally with no patience with any of the kids and definitely not DH. i know he's doing 2 jobs and with that in mind, i make every attempt to free him up when he is home...but i get to this point of nervous breakdown where even simple laughter of the girls gets to my nerves.. it's scary to think about it...

back in april when i was having real trouble with everything (my health, sleep, diet, no exercise, no minute to myself, anger/resentment towards DH), my doc was surprised to hear that i wasn't utilizing all my resources and help from my family to help me out. i wasn't because it would require me to go to lakeforest several times during the week and that would translate to gas to money...and who would have an issue with it?? the comment was "again? why??" so what do i do? struggle & suffer alone and go downhill instead and am not able to give my best to my children and as a result they suffer... maturity, self-respect... hmmmm. more to think about...

for "clocking in/out" i like the idea here with the pic of the child instead of a dwg.

learning styles

one of the things on my to-do-list for this year is determining what the learning modalities are for each of the kids...here's a link for me to keep in mind... also here

i do have a book or two about that.... i'll dig those up..

organization for the new school year

i've realized that i need to desperately organize for the part-time loose homeschooling that i'm planning on doing.. we had a goal setting and lesson planning meeting on friday last week for our local muslim homeschool group. it reminded me of how i need to seriously revisit my priorities in life...

with ramadhan coming up, i'm looking forward to being charged spiritually and physically towards my life purpose...

here is a post i found on a blog i enjoy every so often. it has to do with file crating system. i would tweak it probably.

here is another blog entry about planning that i would like to look at later today(?)...
free homeschool planning.

Plans for 2009/2010

wow summer is almost over! i have been desperately thinking of what i should be doing in the coming school year... how can i not homeschool when i had planned it out since Aapi was like 9mos old?? so here is my plan for now inshaAllah. I ask Allah to help me solidify my goals and my plans for the years to come and for raising our babies in the way that He would be happy with...

Arabic: combination of Arabic First and Al-Duha's
Quran:
Math: RightStart Level B for both girls (it may be too advanced for Leeboo but i'll take it slow with her)
Language Arts:
Reading: currently using 100EasyLessons;
Writing: Cursive (heard a lot about Cursive First); Writing with ease (WTM)
Spelling/ Grammar: First grammar lessons (WTM)
Nature Study (charlotte mason)
Other things i would like to cover: Geography and Science

I'll fill in the details as I get them finalized (including my schedules, etc.)

FOR ME:
something i would like to cover for myself:
penmanship
nature study journal

WTM...an entry in a blog about the trivium...interesting thoughts.. it makes me want to know what the approach of our muslim scholars..before the classical method, montessori, waldorf, regio, etc.

cursive vs. print

there is a real interesting discussion going on at Playschool6 yahoo group regarding cursive or print first? here are some very points that sort of convinced me to try this on the kids...

In our school's 15 year experience, it is really more effective to teach themcursive writing before print. It is actually easier for the child since he/she does not need to lift the pencil and get confused where to put down the pencil to continue writing as is the case in writing in print. We also start with the small letters since capital letters are used only at the start of the sentence or the start of proper nouns. This is the same order when we teach reading - we teach the sounds of the small letters first and then the sounds of the capital letters for the same reason that when we read anything - most of the letters are small. The phonetic way of teaching reading really works so use the names of the letters later since it is actually useful for spelling and not reading. Don't worry about the writing & reading in print - they will all get around to it later. Also, it's better to introduce them to writing only one to three letters at a time. Also we suggest that you don't ask the child to write his/her full name immediately when the child can hardly write a single letter. When the child learns to write in cursive at an earlier age (3-6 in Casa), then their penmanship is more legible than when they shift from print to cursive at Grade2. By then, their fingers are less flexible and you have to compete with the computer keyboard! Regards and God bless. Jojo F.

here's another post:
Many Montessori schools have kept that philosophy or have returned to it. But it's not just Montessori: there's now a ton of research out showing the benefits of starting with cursive. A young child's hand does not typically make very good straight lines and the angles required for doing print nicely are harder than the curves in cursive. Also, reversals are unheard of in cursive, but kids constantly mix up b d or p q in print. Not to mention that it is typically easier for a child who has learned cursive to be able to read print than a childwho has learned print to be able to read cursive. The school that produces A Beka actually changed their classes so that the kids start with cursive in KG and their workbooks have reflected that change. hth, Daisy

her's another:
My son is five and I started him on printing and really regretted it. I remember this exact debate going 3years ago when I was just starting toget my son to hold a pencil. It was on on the forums back then and here it still is. My son has now been writing for a good couple of years and he is still having exactly the same problem you are describing with your daughter. He has continued to have difficulty starting any letter with a circle then a line (small abpqd) he wants to make the letters in one continuous motion which of course he can do with all the other letters. As a result, those letters lookmishapen. I have asked him to redo them which he does but clearly as you've described, it's against his intinct. If I could have a do-over I would start him with cursive writing. Tracy

and another one:
As others havesaid there is a lot of study out there that says it's better for the brain. Infact, if you get into brain gym activities, one of them is writing in scriptwith both hands, using both sides of the brain at the same time...one handwrites forward, one backward at the same time. Kerry

and:
Having written this, I did teach them both how to write in a cursive fashion aswell and left them to decide which they prefer to use.As I am 46 years old, writing beautifully was a very important skill when I grewup. It was a sign of a good education. I, myself, love cursive writing...the waythe letters flow. I am not so sure of it's place in the current world though. Isee fast texting skills as more relevant somehow.I tend to view writing in the same light as calligraphy. How does eachindividual child wish his/her personal unique form of writing to look?...Lea in NZ

and:
This interests me, as the romantic in me loves to write and as a 'dying art' thinks it needs to be protected, I enjoy writing letters, journal writing, and generally the written art forms, and hope that my girls will also, but i see what you mean about it's relevance, there are so many different types of print, and my daughter at this stage doesn't recognise letters in different types, for example, she knows the print 'a', but when we were using some printed resources that I had downloaded, she didn't recognise the standard computer font 'a' (the same as it writes here, as 'a' and it was frustrating... i was annoyed at myself that I hadn't noticed it before we tried to use them as it seemed to muddy the waters for her. My mum suggested looking through newspapers and magazines and making a montage of letters from different fonts to assist this. Best Wishes, Jenni

and
I think our society, due to government-run schools, has tended to veer away from art in general, as though it is superfluous, extra. Cursive would definitely be a way to bring some artistry into our children's daily life! However, I have to admit that I chose cursive from a purely more historically logical stance: kids all used to have their print schoolbooks and did their work in cursive. You can access online 19th century schoolbooks where the kids were expected to copy out some of the text BUT the text is in print and they were supposed to copy it in cursive. It worked brilliantly. I see no reason to give up something that worked in the past and has more advantages! But I admit to having a slight rebellious side, too, and to have "experts" say to learn print first, but I can see all the reasons not to, I'm more aptto go with cursive first. (grin) Daisy

one last one...
There are many advantages (as Daisy pointed out); one of the other advantages is that the child can more easily see the print (later) within the cursive if they know cursive first. They have a much more difficult time seeing the cursivewithin the print if they are taught print first then cursive. This can make it difficult for the child to learn cursive later. Because the words are connected, it makes it easier for a child to learn spacing; where a word ends and a new word begins - unlike print. It also helps with dyslexia, according to experts."Must one begin with strokes? The logical answer is "No." These require too much effort on the part of the child to make them. If he is to begin with the stroke, it should be the easiest thing to execute. But, if we note carefully, a straight stroke is the most difficult to make. Only an accomplished writer can fill out a page with regular strokes, whereas a person who is only moderately proficient can cover a page with presentable writing."(Dr. Maria Montessori, 'The Discovery of the Child', Clio Press Ltd, 193) Here are a few links: http://www.nathhan.com/mcinnis.htm
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4049540
http://www.hwtears.com/answers.htm
http://www.abeka.com/Resources/PDFs/CursiveFly.pdf (A Beka flyer about cursive in Kindergarten)
I think making cursive sandpaper letters, moveable alphabet and maybe investing in a good cursive computer font is worth it, IMO. HTH, Margaret

soooo the conclusion from all this? I will inshaAllah make a conscous effort to introduce & work with cursive with the kids... also, the beauty in Arabic caligraphy.....another way of introducing to the art of caligraphy... funny thing is i didn't consider it much before this discussion on the board!

Kindergarten links

Here is a link i found on Let'sExplore on KG countdown...i'm in such a lame mode regarding KG... i feel as though it's not about my aapi but me failing (&dh winning???) at her going to kg.. and btw, when i blurted out (against my good judgement) that i'm not hsing the reply was a simple..'it's ur choice!' i still can't believe that's what was said...

anyhow, here is the link & i think i need to really think it through so that my baby girl will not have too much transitional time... maybe i'm not taking it too seriously 'cuz all the mom's whose kids have gone to KG all just blow it off as not a big deal.... that's why i feel like she'll just go with the flow... but i really like how this mom has broken it down...

KG countdown...

so... inshaAllah...i'll be implementing ...

no homeschooling

today at around 3am this morning, i was trying to sit down again (after so many attempts all day long) and organize the papers i wanted to put in the girls' workboxes which i have setup right now in the closet at 8 workboxes for each of the girls. i just need a solid 1hour without intruptions so that my brain can follow a train of thought w/o having to get up to meet someone's physical needs. I had given Dh the task of fixing the globe I had gotten (i forget the name right now) where the battery connections were eaten away. after roughly 2-3 weeks, he got to it today at around 2:30am. I had just finished taking a shower. Just as I sat to work, he wanted me to find out where one of the universal AC adapters we had was. I asked him to check in certain places and went back to my task at hand. Then he wanted me to look for it right now. "Why was it not in its right place?", etc. Then after we came to some conclusion on it, he was thirsty and wanted me to make some carrot juice (Jack Lelan?? juicer)..I don't mind at all making juice when he wants...but at 3am when I am trying so darn hard to just have a peaceful moment to work...I snapped and for soem reason I decided at that moment I didn't want to homeschoo. I don't see how it can practically work with my personality and my husband's nonexistant support of any type... If he is taking care of the kids, he will keep tabs on how long he's been taking care of them. Now mind you, this still means if they need to go potty or need a diaper change, that is still my responsibility. Or if anyone needs any food, I have to stop whatever it is I am doing and meet their needs...

"Each of us shines in a different way but this doesn't make our light less bright "- Unknown

Charlotte Mason quote

"We are waking up to our duties and in proportion as mothers become more highly educated and efficient, they will doubtless feel the more strongly that the education of their children during the first six years of life is an undertaking hardly to be entrusted to any hands but their own. And they will take it up as their profession--that is, with the diligence, regularity, and punctuality which men bestow on their professional labours." p. 2 and 3 of Volume 1 of CM Series... from this blog http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/lklivingston/593286/

philosophy on education

what is my philosophy on education? what is education in my terms? what is it in my dh's terms? what is the ideal stuff i have in my mind? how real are these goals/ dreams in my day-to-day reality? my energy levels have been horrendous these days. i get a big surge for a couple of days and then it goes downhill; eg., workboxes. It would be so simple to put it together all in one weekend, yet it took me two (and i'm still not done). I just read this email from another mom from monessoribeginnings egroup. I was just amazed at how clear she was with what was right for her family. Yes, she had doubts and all..but she wanted to do one thing and then go on to another.

One thing that is consistent in my life (or at least that is what it feels like at the moment)..is a sense of constant doubt at what i can or cannot do (limiting myself 'cuz of not getting approval from someone) or just being always in a state of uncertainty...NO commitment. Why so much wavering?

Since this is my personal blog, I should be safe in pasting her email here...as I would like to remind myself of her points, etc... it is a comparison of Waldorf & montessori...

Hi Jill, I think it is a wonderful problem to have deciding between these two theories of childhood and education. I am also in this place, constantly going back and forth as to which philosophy will work best for my family. Since my children are still at home I have taken the best of both worlds (in my opinion) because I found the pure philosophies of both a little too rigid. I've posted some links to places that explain the difference that I found helpful. The mothering magazine forum (mothering.com) has some great discussion threads as well. I would also like to share my own musing on the subject, especially as it pertains to choosing the right school. Both schools love children, follow them, are holisitic, have well trained teachers who understand and love their craft. Both philosophies bring the child into the rhythm and nature of the family, both teach young childen how to be self starters and how to play by themselves using materials from nature (no plastic) I love the art and music base of Waldorf. The children learn early handi crafts, cooking, wood craft. The art that comes out of even the early classroom is beautiful, as are the classrooms themselves. In the early childhood classrooms, curriculum is play based, very seasonal, and very spiritual. This is one draw back for me, as we are Jewish, the seasonal holidays are very christian based (although they do make a point in of celebrating other religious holidays.) I love the nature table (bringing nature inside, celebrating the seasons.) As they get older, Waldorf becomes very teacher driven, with rows of desks facing the instructor. One teacher teaches the class from 1st grade until 8th grade. They also do not formally introduce reading until the child is 7. I am actually OK with this, due to many studies I read as a teacher, as long as there is literacy going on in the classroom. However in Waldorf, parents and teachers are told to guide a child whowants to read away from reading, as this is seen as inhibiting the child's ability to imagine. As a lover of books, I can't see how this is possible. At the Waldorf school near us children learn three languages, one wind and one string instrument, many different artistic crafts (knitting, sweing, woodwork, all types of painting and drawing techniques) The 8th graders who graduate are well about state standards in all subjects (not that that is saying much) Montessori: there are many similarities in my mind with these two philosophies in how they view the young child. Both tell us to follow the child, to observes, to help the child become self sufficient. Montessori is a little more scientific about it. Montessori created very specific toys with very specific purposes based on her observations of the young child. I love this, but I am challenged some times when my children use the toys "incorrectly" but in a way not harmful to themselves or the toy (do I take it away, or let in be used as is?) I love the early literacy games, toys, "lessons" I miss the dress up corner, and sometimes I miss the chaos (is that weird?) I love the soft colors of Waldorf, the way the rooms look so played in. That being said, I love the order of the Montessori classroom, and the children are so busy and quiet in their work. I think Montessori is very academic, which I am drawn to. At the Montessori school near us the childrenlearn one language, most children are reading by 5, they have a beautiful peace corner in each room and they teach peace education and conflict resolution starting with the 2 year olds. The art seems like other private schools, its there, but there isn't a lot of depth to the technique, although there is a lot of art history. Geography is very important, as they believe that if you understnad the world around you, both the actual land mass and the culture, then there will be less conflict (i love this!) There isn't really a music curriculum, although they do have music class. In the end, I don't know where I'll send my child to school. Maybe I will send them to Waldorf, because the music and art is so important to me, and I can give her Montessori things at home. Or maybe I'll send her to Montessori, because the independent goals and child driven work in the older grades is sooo important to the growth of the child. I think both are valid, and I wish I could pick both. At home we tend towards more Montessori, with a little bit of Waldorf thrown in. Good luck, and check out the links below. Each one has its own bias, so I always take them with a grain of salt, and then decide what works for me. I always found it interesting that so many of the comparisons come from Waldorf sites and schools. I wonder why that is? Leigh http://ecrp. uiuc.edu/ v4n1/edwards. html http://www.jnorth. net/mindmaps/ personal/ parenting/ parenting% 20research/ Waldorfvs. Montesorri. html http://www.thewaldo rfschool. org/home/ content.asp? id=931 this i s a Waldorf school http://www.michaelo laf.net/MONTESSO RI%20and% 20WALDORF. html this is a Montessori catalog http://euphoriamate rnity.wordpress. com/2009/ 04/27/montessori -vs-waldorf- preschools/ http://childhoodswo nder.blogspot. com/2006/ 06/montessori- vs-waldorf. htmlhttp://www.oakmeado w.com/resources/ articles/ coulter.htm

I would like to analyze my attraction towards a Montessori approach and my general tendency to be away from Waldorf... Reggio is another approach I do like yet I 'm not sure of how it would apply to my family...

workboxes idea

got this idea first from http://www.workofchildhood.com/ blog. Then i googled and found so much info. Haven't purchased the book yet as I guess I am sort of thinking if I can commit to this idea. Great idea... here r some pics I found very helpful in setting it up.... then I joined the yahoo groups for this...

sweetsimplicity (luv the look)

support from dh..

will i get an honest support for the things i want to do?? i wonder. i will have to struggle all the way with a lot...

language shapes thought

This was an interesting topic on how language gives shape to thought:..and how baby videos contribute to lagging language development:
http://reggioway.wordpress.com/2009/06/06/baby-videos-contribute-to-lagging-language-development/

john gatto

Just read this entry from one of the blogs i enjoy about john gatto. sadly enuf, i haven't read any of his essays yet...

http://whatdidwedoallday.blogspot.com/2009/05/john-taylor-gatto.html

g saling...

i luv garage saling.. it gives me such a high every time 'cuz i find great stuff for an awesome price. went this morning for almost 3 hrs (10am-12:50pm!)... spent around $34. got the following items:
1. $25- scrapbooking storage units- 2 of them along with bunch of crafty scissors & hole punches & a 4 pronged scissors that I don't know what it's used for yet, 2 baskets & 1 embroidery yarn compartmentalized container
2. $2- Farm set (haven't put it together yet..) & box of good kids books
3. $0.50- small painting canvas & turkey baster
4. $3- Crate & Barrel brand new grill cover for veges
5. $2- 2 jeans
6. $0.50- small stuffed animals
7. $0.25- HiHo-CherryO board game for kids...i can already think of how to make it montessori work!
8. $0.50-Some other knick knacks
----------
Other Items i've been collecting in the past few weeks are:
$10- scrapbook paper storage unit- wire type. i am planning to use it for bits storage
Misc. baskets, cheese shaker, creamers, ...

and you know once you catch the thrifting or GSaling bugs, it's hard to shake off them... but on to the tuff job of getting the work on the shelves and doing with kids...

sensory table...

a while back i had bought this playdoh creativity center from the thrift store for like $10... the kids just finished the playdough and i have to make a fresh batch for them.. until then, the container was just sitting in the kitchen (for lack of a better space in rest of the house)... then i saw the idea of a sensory table here and another place that i can't remember or find in my favorites bookmark..... but i think i'll be converting it into a sensory table, especially for mr. lion. it could be a water and sand table (with sand in one side & water the other and place in the middle).. i don't know right away what could be the cons for this but once i get it out and have the kids do their work, i'll be a better judge.

also, just read in a yahoo group i'm on the doman program that speech and walking are connected... a mom mentioned that upon a friend's recommendation, she gave her son arctic cod liver (from nordic natural) everyday (2Tbs) and started on a walking regiment. she started with 1/2 mile and progressed to 3miles a day. she noticed a huge jump in his speech development... i'm at a stage where my poor kiddos are hungry for mama to take them out. how unfortunate and sad of me... inshaAllah, starting tomorrow, i shall start on small walks to get them going. everyday first thing in the morning after some fresh fruit in their tummies!

our education room...montessori

the more time passes (esp. last few weeks), the more pressing it feels to set up a montessori environment in our home.

our trip to KG openhouse last week, just made it seem more impending 'cuz i felt that all of a sudden my baby is not equipped to battle with so much of the stimulation that will be thrown her way. it's strange that i wasn't impressed with all the stuff on the walls. after reading charlotte mason, montessori, etc., i really believe the kids will learn to focus (which is soooo hard in today's classrooms & the world in general) without all that clutter around them. the simpler the better. after a while, our brains ignore what is on the walls, doesn't it? i've put stuff up so that i can remember and after a month or so, guess what? it just turns into another background on the wall.

so i want sooooo badly to get myself organized enuf to get started... curriculum... this post really made me think http://whatdidwedoallday.blogspot.com/2009/05/planning.html
it makes sooo much sense. i had done a ton of reading & organizing of preschool stuff...& it's all just sitting there in my binders... but i don't have the heart to throw anything out...

anyhow, so i will be concentrating on the following 2 things this weekend:
1) getting the kids' bedroom organized this weekend so that the environment in it is peaceful, uncluttered & organized. inshaAllah.
2) then on to getting all the materials prepared for the first 2 Periods from Gettman...

misc. poems to memorize stuff

Solar system- http://dovehomeschool.xanga.com/
Here are eight planets that we know.
Round and round the Sun they go.
Mercury, Venus, Earth, and Mars,
These are the planets near our star.

Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, too.
Neptune, so far we can't see you.
These are the eight planets that we know.
Round and round the Sun they go.

Continent song-from Montessorimat.yahoo.group
North America, South America, Europe, Asia, Africa.
Don't forget Antarctica,
Don't forget Antarctica.
And Please don't forget Austraila!

Continent song with details: http://www.songsforteaching.com/geography/continents.htm
Seven continents connect the People of the World
Seven continents connect the People of the World

The largest continent is where
The world's tallest mountain reaches into the air.
One out of every four people in the world live there.
It's the home of the panda bear.
Can you name the continent?
The highest point is Mt. Everest... that's in ASIA!

The 2nd largest continent has tigers and elephants.
The world's longest river flows past the pyramids.
Sahara desert gets so hot
Some years it doesn't rain one drop.
Can you name the continent?
The Egyptian pyramids, are in AFRICA!

On the 3rd largest continent you'll get
To see landforms you won't forget.
Like the Rocky Mountains or 5 great lakes;
The Grand Canyon with its eagles and rattlesnakes.
Can you name the continent?It includes Mexico and Canada.
It's NORTH AMERICA!

The rainiest place in the world is here;
Gets more than 22 feet of rain in a year.
The Andes Mountains run all the way from North to South.
Piranhas in the Amazon would like to put you in their mouth!
Can you name the continent?
It's SOUTH AMERICA, I'll bet.

It's so cold everywhere you go.
Penguins wish they had a coat.
Ice and snow! Ice and snow!
That's ANTARCTICA.

Only scientists go there.
Many small countries form this 2nd smallest continent.
The Rhine and Thames and Danube rivers run through it.
Spain, Greece, France and Italy
Surround the Mediterranean Sea.
Can you name the continent?
The "Euro" is their common currency.
It's EUROPE!

Koala bears in eucalyptus trees live on the
Smallest continent, surrounded by seas.
Hopping around are kangaroos and wallabies.
It's native people are called Aborigines
Can you name the continent?
Some people call it Oceania. It's AUSTRALIA!

Seven continents connect the People of the World
Seven continents connect the People of the World
Europe, Asia, Australia, Africa
North and South America, Antarctica
Europe, Asia, Australia, Africa
North and South America, Antarctica
Seven continents connect the People of the World

cross references for me

some references to cool ideas:
On the shelf
land forms: http://montessori-work.blogspot.com/search/label/Geography
math:http://montessori-work.blogspot.com/search/label/Math
science:http://montessori-work.blogspot.com/search/label/Science
got maps?

felt map with bean bag continents: http://spiralmontessorimama.blogspot.com/search/label/Geography

Work in progress

Today put the following work on shelves. Noori tried most of them since the other Mr. Lion & Leeboo were sleeping for the nite: toothpick jar, paper punching (ready), sweeping with pompons (instead of sweeping, using it as color sorting first); golf balls transfering (one-by-one into another basket); pop-corn pouring- jug to jug without spilling; spooning wooden balls with melon baller; cutting with scissors (into small pieces); spooning beans with spoon; building with wooden & duplo blocks; clipping with clothespins; snap frame (infant jean jacket on doll); big button frame;

From Gettman's Period 1: the red ones are out on shelf...rest i'll be working on this week (ia)...
Language: Classified pictures & speech stages & I spy
Culture: Land & Water presentation
Sensorial: Cylinder blocks, Pink tower, Color tablet #1, Presentation tray of Geo. Cabinet, Sensitizing fingers, Touch boards, Presentation of Geo. solids, Stereognostic bags presentation
Practical: Pouring beans between 2 jugs, Opening & closing containers, Buttoning, Buckling, Other simple dressing frames, Carrying & laying floor mats, Saying "Thank You", Other grace & courtesy work, Carrying a Tray; Lifting, carrying, & putting down a chair, Sitting down on & getting up from a chair at a table, Climbing & descending stairs, Walking on the line, Folding, Hanging clothes on a hook, Brushing hair, Dusting

Practical lessons

here is a reference for great PL for montessori...i luv 'em!
http://mommyme-thewonderyears.blogspot.com/search/label/Practical%20Life
http://www.joymontessori.net/2007/02/ideas-for-practical-life-activities.html

references for starting out

so today is wednesday. we worked with the mat. i'll keep observing to see how that goes within the next few days to see if i need to revisit this.

i really like OldCreekMontessori.blogspot.com (OCM) & maybemontessori.blogspot.com - the items that OCM covered during her first day were the following. After listing, wow! PL:
(1) toothpick jar ;(2) paper punching; (3) stamping tray; (4) sweeping with pompons (not presented the first day); (5) golf balls transfering (one-by-one into another basket); (6) bean pouring- jug to jug without spilling; (7) spooning wooden balls with melon baller; (8) cutting with scissors (into small pieces); (9) spooning beans with spoon

Culture & Sensorial & others
(1) world puzzle (with knobs); (2) sandpaper globe; (3) drawing with marker; (4) drawing with crayons; (5) hammering in clay; (6) stringing beads; (7) Cylinder block #1; (8) regular puzzle; (9) "sewing a cirlcle" ; (10) building with duplo blocks; (11) clipping with clothespins; (12) snap frame

now for Period 1: Gettman suggests the following
Language: Classified pictures & speech stages & I spy
Culture: Land & Water presentation
Sensorial: Cylinder blocks, Pink tower, Color tablet #1, Presentation tray of Geo. Cabinet, Sensitizing fingers, Touch boards, Presentation of Geo. solids, Stereognostic bags presentation
Practical: Pouring beans between 2 jugs, Opening & closing containers, Buttoning, Buckling, Other simple dressing frames, Carrying & laying floor mats, Saying "Thank You", Other grace & courtesy work, Carrying a Tray; Lifting, carrying, & putting down a chair, Sitting down on & getting up from a chair at a table, Climbing & descending stairs, Walking on the line, Folding, Hanging clothes on a hook, Brushing hair, Dusting

trying again to do something

my girls r soo willing to do some work at home. so i'm going to attempt it this time with a little dilligence, inshaAllah.

today..new dua for before starting any type of learning: Rabi zidni 'ilma. (oh Lord, increase me in my knowledge)

did some qaida with noori. we did lesson 10 where basically u define what each letter is in a 2-letter word. she somehow got stumped on the same letters in Lesson 11. Too long sitting maybe? when i told her to take a 5-min break while i work with Leeboo, she began to cry 'cuz she doesn't want a break and she doesn't want to do work either.... meanwhile, Leeboo had the rail (for her Qaida) that Mr. Lion snatched from under her book & then she had a fit 'cuz he wouldn't give it to her. For that 2-min interval, i had Noori crying 'cuz I told her to take a break & Leeboo screaming 'cuz Mr. L wouldn't give her the rail & Mr. L crying 'cuz Leeboo was trying to snatch it back from her.... omg...for a second i felt soo frustrated & lost... then i told Leeboo to use Mr. L's stool (i got it at thrift store yesterday for a buck!) & as soon as we did, Mr. L gave Leeboo her rail back.

Then when Noori finally got up to play with Noona, we had barely gotten 5min into the lesson, & Leeboo started to fidget and didn't want to work anymore. ... i don't know

but then to change to mood, i showed how to roll, unroll & carry the working mats. i hadn't found any appropriate place to put the stuff in. so i just took a plastic purple basket i had and put the stuff in it. it seems to work fine. so that was nice. Noona knew how to work with mat since he went to a montessori preschool for about 2months..

9 things from the Prophet (SAW) life

1. Simplicity & moderation in everything
2. 1/3 rule: 1/3 water + 1/3 food + 1/3 air
3. Daily Quran recitation
4. Forgive every day
5. Give something away everyday
6. Eat together
7. Honey, olive oil, dates
8. Fishoil
9. Breathe deeply

lecture given by _____ at our local masjid back 2 yrs ago...before Mr. Lion was born

hijri date converter

this website converts the date to hijri date...

http://prayer.al-islam.com/convert.asp?l=eng

no play

Noori informed me on Sunday, "Mama, i never play with you, only Baba all the time." I said, "Oh, how come?" and she says, "'cuz you are always working"... sigh...

and today Noori is at school. So I get a chance to be a little closer to Leeboo. She tells me while i'm in the restroom (& the door is finally closed) that.."Mama, you are not bad. You are good." I say thank you....I've been yelling at them in the past few days 'cuz I don't get so many boxes packed & 'cuz Noori & Leeboo have accidents all the time (Alhumdulillah, they don't do #2... only#1)... but when I'm exhausted & for odd reason, just plain angry at no one in particular (just seem to be cross at the world...) & they start their laughing fit (where Leeboo will pick a word, recently, a silly way of saying Maryam, & they both laugh sooo hard that Noori will pee in her pants (this happens mostly to her & not Leeboo)).... anyhow, this happened recently on Sunday after I spent the entire day at mom's & did 3 loads of laundry (everytime I think of the new apt w/o a W/D, I get sooo mad at myself for giving it up so easily for my husband's wishes)... & Noori had 2 accidents at mom's and then 3rd one at home (around 8:30pm)...I transformed into a witch... oh my poor baby...

dancing tummy & sleeping tummy

Noori says yesterday after we were driving back from Pita Grill, "Mama, u know what? my tummy is dancing now." & I asked why? She says, "'cuz it's sooo happy like when i eat the popsicle!!!" & Leeboo says, "my tummy is sleeping!!"

then this morning, Noori says, while standing in front of the azan clock (she was playing with it & i told her not to 'cuz it will get khraab), "u mean, when Allah mian calls us?"

Mr. Lion is just getting naughtier by the day. The words he's saying r: mama, ba (for baba & ball), & that. & when he wants something, he'll just make so much noise until u get irritated & u have to do it!!

Leeboo is at her own stage. Luv's to scream when something unfair (as she has percieved it to be) happens. Poor Noori starts crying 'cuz it's sooo loud....

Ch.10-Conclusion-- final points

p255... There are many methods & texts & curricula, many organizations & approaches & styles, but we think that on methodology or recipe or formula will give you what you really need. The choice to work together with your children to help them learn is one that you need to make for a reason great enough to sustain you even through doubt & fear. .... There simply was no decent school available tous, none that would offer our children the kind of education we wanted them to have-- namely, an education in becoming free, reasoning, truth-seeking human being. .... Moreover, schools probably could not do this if they tried, becasue they are institutions & no institution can offer the one indispensable element of this education: a gift of self.

p255... We found in the course of our homescholing that the most important part of education is a close personal relationship that folds a child in arms of love & deep respect. This is a relationship in which parent makes a perpetual self-gift. It means that the parent never has amoment for herself (or himself), never ever tries to take anything just for "me." This idea now seems as counter cultural as our attachment to freedom. America is all about the self: self-esteem, self-sufficiency, self-improvement, self-service, self-development, self-satisfaction. It seems to be as much about the self as it is about fear & anxiety, & the more time we have spent trying to make a gift of ourselves to our children, the clearer it seems that there is a connection between attachment to selfishness & fear.

p256...Parents canmake it easier or harder for a child to live & choose & love. Many of our social institutions, & especially schools, make it harder to live & choose & love in freedom. We homeschool so that our children will be able to live & choose & love, to seek the truth in freedom.

p257...Basic Principles:
1. Believe: You can do it. You couldn't do it all alone but you won't have to. You should expect to exert all your strength, but if you do you will find others who can offer you a hand now & then when you need it..... Believe, but don't believe only in yourself. There is no tradition of wisdom that regards the self as trustworthy or benevolent, so beware of faith in yourself. Have faith that if you give your children what you have, in love, they will prosper. Have faith in them. If you are fortunate enuf to believe in God, have faith in God & pray.

2. Trust: Messages of fear & uncertainty will come from inside & from outside to discourage you & recommend that you give up. Trust that no matter how implausible your formal credentials, no matter how little money you have, no matter how limited your own education may be, you can do this. If you persevere you will succeed-- provded, of course, that you choose the right metrics to measure success. If you choose as your criterion of success the development of your children as fee & reasoning human beings with a devotion to the truth, & you persever in putting their interest before your own, you will succeed.

3. Love: St. Josemaria Escriva said, "Love is deeds, not sweet words." When we say "love," we do not mean tender feeligns & we do not mean "tough love." We mean self-sacrifice & self-gift. This love that can only come from faith & trust. Give yourself. Sometimes giving yourself means being tender & sometimes it means exercising discipline to help a child grow in strength & character. Always examine yourself to be sure that the choice you are making is not for yourself but for your child, so that your child will grow in freedom & truth. The self is subtle-- selfish motives sometimes conceal themselves in the most benevolent-seeming gestures-- so conduct the self-examination regularly & diligently.

p259... Only a person can give himself to a person, & what a child needs more than anything else is a person to make that gift. Seeing you make that gift is how the child will learn to make
it.

Ch. 10- Conclusion

The entire chapter is worth reading and writing down. It had so much food for thought. I think it is too long to type up the whole thing...so I will be selective and just photocopy the chapter for my personal files to be referred to...

p252...Before undertaking this book, we were too busy meeting the demands of every present moment to wonder how all the moments fit together. Now, at our halfway point as HSers, with 3 children launched into college & 3 still in elementary & high school, we've paused to consider where we've been.

We have chosen to be free & to educate our children in freedom. In this Land of Liberty, few make that choice. Jack Kerouac wrote in "The Vanishing American Hobo," "There is nothing nobler than putting up with a few inconveniences like snakes & bugs for the sake of absolute freedom." But Jack Kerouac was an eccentric, as were Walt Whitman & Henry David Thoreau & Thomas Jefferson & every prophet sacred or profane stretching back at least to the fugitive who saw a burning bush & came reluctantly back to preach freedom. Those who choose freedom almost always seem to be eccentric misfits, & those who choose slavery almost always seem well adjusted by comparison. Our freedom is always at risk, but we are its only real threat. The smoke of idols, the clang of cymbals, the shouts of apostates din the creed that freedom is too risky, too uncomfortable, too painful to bear. We've seen people start for freedom & then pause to consider how unreasonable a choice it was in light of what everyone around them knew to be true. Many have choked off their lives by limiting their choices to what they could see.

p253...[When we married...] we took a different view & made a different choice. We found that conventional wisdom was false. Many things that people say are impossible are in fact very possible if you simply live in the present moment, deal with the challenges of that moment, & let the future wait until it becomes present. We found that these 2 ways of living form 2 different habits of thought & life. The practice of taking conventional wisdom to heart & always preparing for the future often means that you never really live in the present, & therefore, that you never really live at all, because life is only in the present. The future, with its fears & opportunities, is always a figment of our imaginations. The practice of living in the present moment anchors us in reality & truth, & there is enormous power in reality & truth. Anything is possible then.

p254... We were not immune to the fears & anxieties of a society that seems increasingly to be a society of fear,

Ch.9- Accepting a college

p232- We also looked at college as an investment-- not only of money but of time as well. The most important college cost is the opportunity cost. By attending one college, you accept a set of opportunities, & the cost of those opportunities is the opportunities you forgo at some other college. ...

p233...After our years of HSing, we know that there is little that we cannot learn on our own. For us, then, undertaking college must not be just about further learning but about something else too-- personal growth & development, certification, networking, validation, acquiring specialized knowledge, laying down the credentials to forge a career, & so forth. College is an investment, first, of time.

p244...Fear seems to be part of the marketing process-- it helps build a sense of urgency to buy & read one particular magazine or book. We read many such books & articles. But we gave ourselves time to calm down well before the actual application process. More important, we were highly selective about which of those books & articles we passes along to the children, & when.

Ch.7- Taste & see...

p167...Education is life itself, not just preparation for later living.....We feel that this is the most important teaching that we can give our children, yet we cannot give it to them. We can only hope to show it to them in our own living, & trust them to discover it in theirs.

p168...It is a core principle of our HS curriculum that the conventional & commonly accepted version of anything is probably an illusion & possibly a lie, including the things that school boards & teachers & fellow parents all take for granted, accept unquestioningly, & unthinkingly reinforce for one another. Many things that everyone takes fro granted make sense only when you exercise no skepticism & pay no attention, but it's easy to get swept away by the herd. To see things as they are, to trust your intuition, you have to observe closely things & yourself. To trust your own instincts you have to have a breadth of experience & input & eposure you get only leaving the herd behind. To believe that foundations everyone trusts can crumble, & to be ready to jump if they do, you need to know that other foundations everyone trusted have crumbled before, but you only find out by resisting the security of numbers & looking where the "safe" can't see.

Ch.6-Travel as HSing & Ch.7-Taste & See: family dinner as HSing

p125...Travel, as opposed to tourism, puts things in a new light, & I think what we saw in Florence did that for Billy.

p128...I was delighted to see him growing more cautious & skeptical about what he heard, especially when he heard it from someone in apparent authority. I think that is fundamental to a good education. And if it comes back to bite me from time to time, that's price worth paying.

p139...Yet our way of traveling is our way of living. We are constantly traveling, even when we are standing still. We see our lives as a movement from one present moment to another. Each moment is a time & place we are passing through & will never pass through again. Each moment is precious & unique..... We don't put our travel in the hands of tour organizers for the same reason that we don't put their education in the hands of schoolteachers. Discovery should be part of education, & of travel, but it is seldom part of tours or schools.

p140...But that's because so many people close their eyes to things around them. So few know how to travel without going away. There are places that any local with an exit leaves to go somewhere interesting, somewhere exciting.

p142..."Lost" isn't really the right word, though, because every place we go becomes our destination when we arrive. It's getting off the main road, & wandering around the back roads through unplanned detours, that opens our eyes to the country.

p161...The displine was less arduous now, & Br. Raphael was wearing civilan clothes, a work shirt & a baseball cap. Birds were making noise all around us. I asked him what he had learned after all of those years in the monastery, & he said, "I have learned that whatever I read about in the paper, I could do. You know, you pick up a paper, & you see some guy going to jail for someting, maybe he killed somebody, or robbed somebody. I could have done that. If it hadn't been for the advantages I had, the advantage of a good family, or the right mentor, or the right perosn to say something at the right time-- that could have been me. I'm no better, no different."

p163...Education is not just about learning facts & techniques. It's about learning a way of life. Would it be a digression to mention here Mother Teresa & her sisters....who came into our lives about the time that we began to HS? ....When you live on one inconstant income in a marginal city, it helps to have the example of the Missionaries of Charity. It is not that they are poor but that they are joyful because and by means of being poor. They are a sign of contradiction to a society that regards poverty to be a punishment for laziness, instead of a virtue & a blessing. Martine was closer to the sisters than she would take credit for being. .........To rely on a saint for an example is not to do exactly what a saint has done. As we see it, education means grasping the spirit of the saints, & living it in teh distinct circumstances of the present moment.

p164...But the following, adapted from Ascent of Mount Carmel, Chapter XIII, by St. John of the Cross, hangs on a bookshelf here:

ALWAYS STRIVE TO CHOOSE:
The hardest instead of the easiest
The unpleasant instead of the pleasant
The least instead of the most
The worst instead of the best
To desire nothing instead of any desire...

We find that those words summarize succinctly & usefully what practice is necessary for an education that aims at becoming fully free & fully human....Within the context of being Allah's 'abd, how do we become fully free & fully human? Within Islam, do we strive to choose these things? We are instructed to choose what is the most hopeful and the best in every situation....does that apply here or am I missing a point?

p166....The Chinese Taoist philosopher Chuang-tzu tells of a wheelmaker who saw a duke reading the sages, & commented that he was reading "scum". The duke replied that the wheelmaker would die if he couldn't explain that comment to satisfactorily. The wheelmaker explained that the secret to making a wheel was to know how to cut. Cut too fast, & the cut would not be deep enuf. Cut too slowly, & it was almost uselss, though. Knowing how to balance fast & slow, deep & steady was something that came only fromexperience. He could not even tell his own son the secret, & he supposed the same was true of the sages-- everything really necessary & useful to know had died with them, & the rest, the scum, remained in books. The wheelmaker lived.

The understanding of what it really means to be human is similarly elusive, because in order to have it one must live it. If you live it, you don't need words; if you don't live it, words can perversely obscure rather than clarify it, make it harder rather than easier to grasp.

Chapter 5-Mission

p120..
The mission, as we conceive it, is how we make the vision come true. Our vision of educaiton is, as we said above, the manner of living by which our children become what they are, become fully free & actualized. With this vision, HSing is the only way to go, because no other educational option available to us advances that vision. Our mission, then, became HSing, but HSing with a particular emphasis on freedom & on the present moment. Martine calls it "Carpe diem," Latin for "Seize the day," a phrase by the Roman poet Horace:

Dum loquimur fugerit invida aetas. Carpe diem quam minimum credula postero.
While we speak, odious time flies. Pluck the day, trust little in tomorrow. (Odes I, 11.8-9)

The phrase also describes a school of English poetry that gave us such lines as:

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, old time is still a flying,
and the same flower that blooms today, tomorrow will be dying.
(Robert Herrick, "To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time")

Chapter 5-Vision

p115...
By vision we mean our vision of education.

Our vision of education is: the way of living by which children can become who they are.

Every ciuld is a person, & every person is an end in himself or herself, never a means to an end. So the purpose of a child is not ensure that a school will stay open, that teachers will have something to do, that the society will benefit from a well-trained workforce. Our children do not exist so that we will have something to brag about, nor are their setbacks our failures. We must detach our egos from the children to loose ourselves in order to help them & to lessen the brden on them.

Becasue the child is not a means to an end, education is for the child, not for anything else. The purpose of education is to turn a child's potential into reality. Another word for this is "acutalization." Education is not study, & not a manner of learning to read or write or do math or get good grades or take tests, even though these may be a part of education, if they are a part of life. It's not something you have to "get" to "get" a job. Education is living & learning & developing.

Chapter 5- Watching the volcano: Vision, mission, values

p109...When I heard this story [story of Darto of Indonesia who watched volcano], I thought of how closely my has watched children, & how well she has learned to read their signs. She is as constant in her atten as Darto is, & has special connections with their mysteries, & is as alert to anything that might threaten them. Mothers & babies pay attention to each other in ways of which they are not even conscious. Their bodies communicate even after birth.

p110...As parents, we have a clear & singular objective: to do that best we can for our children. Even if the schools were as clear & singular as our own, even if they aimed only & wholeheartedly to provide the best possible education for every single child, they could not do it. It is impossible for a school to develop the intimacy of communication that grows between a mother & her child. For schools, "the best possible" could mean only the best possible within the constraints that govern them.

p110...We agree with the humanist Charles W. Eliot that the development of reasoning power & the ability to express thoughts clearly is a fundamental purpose of education, & share his rejection of the notion that the main purpose should be job preparation. We agree with William Heard Kilpatrick that education should be "be considered as life itself & not as a mere preparation for later living."

HSers have a different strategic focus from that of schools. Hsers in general focus much more intensively on each child's needs & abilities than do schools or teachers.

Schools cannot have this sharp a focus on the child. Afterall, schools must respond to political pressures from various interst groups, to economic pressures from teachers' unions on the one hand & tapayers on the other, to regulatory mandates such as the No Child Left Behind Program, & to other forces. Schools have such a diversity of conflicting mandates & objectives that they cannot have a single focus.

p114...We never drafted a statement of vision or mission for our HSing enterprise. In fact, we did not begin with a clear vision, mission, & plan. We began by groping in the dark, taking what steps we could, & groping some more. Eventually, we managed to grope toward soem light, & looking back at the trail we had made we could see where we had come from & where we had arrived.

We had a vision & a mission, but implicitly. We did not really begin to think about our HSing enterprise in terms of vision & mission & attemp to make them explicit until we began to write this book- after we'd been HSing for 12 yrs & seen 3 daughters thru grade school & high school & into college....... Yet while our vision & mission were implicit, no one was unaware of them. The vision & mission grew naturally out of values that were very explicit, & that we often discussed, & that guided all of our decisions, major or minor.

p116...We want our children to become who they are- & a developed person is, above all, free. But freedom as we define it doesn't mean doing what you want. Freedom means the ability to make choices that are good for you. It is the power to choose to become what you are capable of becoming, to develop your unique potential by making choices that turn posbility into reality. It is the ability to make choices that actualize you. As often as not, maybe more often than not, this kind of freedom means doing what you do not want, doing what is uncomfortable or tiring or boring or annoying. Think of "going for the burn" in a weight room.

This is a countercultural vision, of course, & is not the sort of thing you find taught in schools.

p121... I have said that we see education as life itself, not mere preparation for some later state of life. But we believe that life itself is the act of a free choice repeated, repeated, repeated in every present moment. What choice? The choice to live....I am constantly and has always in the past lived for a later life that never seems to come. When I get married, then blah blah blah. Or when i have kids, or when I'm home or whatever.

The choice must be made in the present moment, because one can only be alive in the present moment. Those who are not completely in the present moment, who are distracted by the future or the past, worried about tomorrow or about yesterday, are in a sense not living.

It is as though every present moment offers us an opportunity to choose to live freely or not. Habits, attitudes, & circumstances may constrain our choice, making us more or less free. Every time we repeat an act, we reinforce a habit, so the stronger a bad habit is, the less free we are. Education is largely a matter of learning to form the right habits, the good ones, those that make us stronger & freer instead of weaker & less free. That is what we mean by developing virtue.