summary of my talk with a dear friend

i had a conversation with a dear friend from years ago who has moved to TX. This couple embodies what i have always imagined my tarbiya scenario would be with my own kids. Her kids are 8,5, and 4mos. MashaAllah, may Allah always protect them from the 'ain and hasd....


here is a summary of the key points that i need to remind myself of...
they put their dd1 in public kg (even though i detected a little hesitation on her part..but i think it was a dh's decision) for the sake of getting the socialization (and i'm not talking about the typical american one that comes to mind), the competitions that come with the public schools (spelling bees, debate type, science fair, etc.), and overall make the kids know how to deal with public...if that makes any sense... anyhow, at the time, she said it felt like a total waste of time 'cuz dd was not learning anything and they basically comforted the child by saying that school is not necessarily for learning new things but to practice all that we've learned.


now she is in 3rd grade and got placed in 'gate' program after being tested in KG. that has helped a lot. she said each year dd got a teacher who was open to helping dd with different things. in KG, dd was told by parents to try to finish her work fast so that she ask for more work or to ask if she can help the teacher. in 1st grade, the teacher gave more challenging language arts stuff; the 2nd grade teacher gave more math stuff. (this yr i dont' know)...


here r some points:

1. dd finished quran in 1st grade: mom read arabic books at home since the age of 3 but when dd turned 4, they had a quran teacher come to the house twice weekly until she finished reading the quran.
2. after that, concentrated on arabic. another teacher ('cuz the other teacher moved away) comes to the house for arabic for 2 hrs on weekends. so now dd is able to read arabic (mom is following the local islamic school's arabic/islamic curriculum) at the 3rd grade level. so in arabic, grammar, etc. is taught.
3. dd is also doing hifz with the local masjid's sheikh twice a week (wednesdays and sundays). hifz is going a bit slow now 'cuz of school, but it's there.
4. taekwondo once (or twice?) a week
5. Kumon every day
6. dd is able to read urdu right now.
7. during pregnancy of her 3rd, she slacked off on going to masjid, but now she's picking it up again slowly to take the kids for magrib everyday. the imam at the masjid said in a khutba, that it's important for the kids going to public school to go to the masjid once daily. the hearing of the azan, the quranic recitation is very important for them. mom felt that was true 'cuz she felt the difference in her kids when she was not doing it.
8. she does scheduling with her dd the night before for the next day. so that depending on what is happening the next day, the dd knows what to do in order to be able to have free time before sleeping! mostly, the dd knows how much time she has to finish her work in order to have free time before sleep time.
9. during the free time (if she has finished her HW & Kumon), then she usually plays in the backyard, arts/crafts, or they go for a walk (but it can't be at nite, huh?)...she said she tries to get them to be out everyday either for a walk, biking, or scootering, etc.
10. upto like last year, mom would go and have lunch with dd at school! she said it made a difference..(how? i don't know but i can speculate and our conversation ended 'cuz my leeboo was bothering me to the max!! arrrggh)
11. here is their typical monday's schedule:

School- come home- shower/change of clothes (everyday 'cuz she had a baby at home and with the swine flu things going on) - snack (which she had ready b4 dd came home)- listen to quran on computer & memorize - kumon- taekwondo- masjid for magrib- dinner- any HW- then free time- sleep at 8pm!!!!


Sooo much food for my thoughts..